Monday, January 25, 2010

Back to Benin!

So there are a couple of missing entries to fill in the past 2 months...most importantly...I went home!! Spending 3 weeks at home for Christmas and New Years was amazing, delicious, freeeeezing cold, and refreshing. Overall, the weirdest thing about being back was that it didn't feel that weird at all. The first time I approached the dishwasher and the washing machine I admit I was apprehensive for a split second about all the buttons, but all of a sudden my fingers knew exactly what they were doing. My first night home I did have a moment of wonderment at my parents "five fires" on their stovetop. I even said out loud to them, "Oh my god, do you realize you have five fires right here?" Of course it was the family joke for the rest of my stay. By the end I got to spend lots of time with my friends and family and I was so exhausted that all I could think about was getting back to my puppy and my couch in Dogbo!

For about 2 weeks now I have been back to Benin, and I couldn't have been happier when I got back. I was just so excited to realize that Dogbo really does feel like home to me, too. Sort of like returning to the dorms in college after break, I think. In the plane coming into Cotonou from Paris I looked up and saw the stars in the first time for 3 weeks and realized how much I missed them. When I arrived I also noticed a scab from a scratch on my foot- I didn't even know I had scratched it. In the cold winter weather I hadn't been able to pay any attention to my body because all I wanted to do was cover it with layer after layer of clothes!

Despite all of my joy for returning to my life here in Dogbo, this past week has been a lot more difficult due to 2 unfortunate events. The first being that last Sunday my postmate and one of my best friends here, Catherine, left for home for good. She has been in 3 moto accidents in the last 8 months and found transportation to be too difficult for her to continue her time here. We all already miss her, and it will be harder for me now that I won't have her in Dogbo to relax with on a bad day. At the same time, I know it was the right decision for her and I wish her all the luck with moving back!

The second unfortunate event happened last Sunday as well, the day of Catherine's departure. Three volunteers coming down from the North were in a huge bus accident when their bus collided with a semi-truck head on. Miraculously none of them were seriously hurt, but people in the rows directly in front of them were actually killed. Understandably this sort of event has all of the PCVs a bit shaken up, but truthfully there is nothing we can do. The bus is still undoubtedly the safest mode of transport and we all knew the risk existed- it's just a bit more real to us now.

So, this last week wasn't quiet as great as the first, but I'm trying to focus on the positive and remember why I was so excited to come back. I think that one of the biggest realizations I've had since going home is just that this experience is almost over. It's only a few months until the end, and those months are jam-packed with event after event. Right now it's a little exciting to think about what's next, but also scary and overwhelming and mostly just sad to think about leaving friends and life here. It is possible for us to extend a 3rd year in Benin or another country if we want, but I think I want to go back to apply for grad school next fall. Of course it's all still up in the air, but if I do decide to finish this year I will get my official date of departure in late May. So stay tuned for that!!

1 comment:

loehrke said...

I am so glad that your trip back to the states went well and that you didn't feel out of place!!! I know that your family and friends must have been SO happy to see you.
And I'm glad to hear that Benin still feels like "home". I think that's a good sign.
Just: be careful. Please. I barely know you and yet when I read about the bus accident I felt a lump in my throat. Be safe and be smart. Come back in one piece.
Best, Mark Loehrke (Carly's dad)